Heal-ing

I woke up this morning tired. I went to bed at reasonable hour, slept well and had three days off in a row. There was no excuse to feel this way. But, I knew I wasn’t feeling 100%. I put my tiny human on the bus and from that moment, my mood had turned into aggravation. I acknowledged it, and put it where it “belonged”. Where it had been stored for months. From there, anxiety followed. I was inside my own head, and it was a dangerous place in that state of panic I was suddenly feeling. Why was I even feeling this way? I had been living on cloud 9 for months, feeling free with my newfound grace and love. I thought I had reached a point where I could put things back where they dug themselves up from. I HAD JUST POSTED A BLOG ABOUT THIS. But yet, here I was. How many times does one need to revisit their traumas?

As many times as it takes.

The universe knows when you’re ready, even when you don’t agree. I had a handful of traumas creep up, out of the blue, all at once. And I was stuck. I couldn’t find my way out of it. Like a deer in the headlights. Frozen. Just unable to help myself come back down to earth. I came home from work, called my husband and unloaded. Tears that I couldn’t stop from coming. No matter how badly I wanted them to. He held the space I needed in those moments. My rock. Some more tears were shed, some reflection time and a latte later - I feel like myself again. All of this just to say, it’s okay if you have a bad day. Or a bad week. You are human. We need to show ourselves some grace for the work we put into this journey of ours. It’s not always easy, but you will get through it.

Celebrate your wins, both big and small, in your journey. Always get back up. Harness the power you hold here and continue to heal. Grow. We don’t know one another, but if you have read this, I’m rooting for you <3